Discovering Your Inner Mosaic: Understanding Egograms and the Five Ego States
By Lucie Brunet (formerly Ritchie), Trauma Specialist
Have you ever caught yourself reacting to a situation and then wondering, “Where did that come from?” Maybe you felt like a scolded child when facing criticism, or you suddenly turned into the protective parent when comforting a friend. These shifts in reactions are natural, and Transactional Analysis (TA) explains them with the concept of ego states. An egogram is a powerful tool that visually captures how much time and energy you spend in each of these states. By learning to identify and chart them, you can gain more awareness of your “inner mosaic” of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
What Is an Egogram?
An egogram is like a simple bar graph that shows how active each of your five primary ego states are in your day-to-day life. Think of it as a snapshot of the different “voices” or “parts” inside you. We all have them—and understanding how they interact can help you move toward a more balanced, authentic life. The idea is that some of these parts take on extreme roles when there’s a lack of self-trust, feelings of insecurity, or feeling rejected, to name a few.
The Five Ego States – We’ve Got Them All
- Critical Parent (CP)
This is the voice of judgment and discipline. It can be helpful when it sets healthy boundaries, but it may become harsh and self-critical if overused. If you find yourself constantly saying, “You should have done better,” that’s your Critical Parent speaking up. - Nurturing Parent (NP)
The opposite of the Critical Parent, this part offers support, empathy, and encouragement. It’s the voice that says, “You’re doing your best, and that’s okay.” A strong Nurturing Parent fosters kindness toward yourself and others. - Adult (A)
This is your calm, rational, “in-the-moment” self that weighs facts objectively. Think of it as your internal mediator, balancing out the emotional extremes of other ego states. When you step back, take a breath, and say, “Let’s look at the evidence,” you’re engaging your Adult. - Free Child (FC)
Remember the joy of running around a playground without a care in the world? That’s your Free Child—creative, spontaneous, and full of life. When you allow yourself to laugh freely or pursue a passion just for fun, you’re tapping into this state. - Adapted Child (AC)
This part emerges from how you learned to cope or behave to get along with caregivers and society at large. Sometimes it shows up as compliance (wanting approval), or it could become rebellious if it feels confined. The adapted child is an inauthentic state that prioritizes attachment instead of authenticity as a means to survive. If you notice yourself people-pleasing—or conversely, pushing against rules—you’re seeing your Adapted Child.
How to Create Your Egogram
- Reflect
Take a quiet moment to think about your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors throughout the day or week. Jot down a few notes on which state you feel most often. For instance, do you frequently self-criticize (Critical Parent), or do you show yourself empathy (Nurturing Parent)? - Assign Scores
Give each state a numerical value between 0 and 10 that reflects how strongly it appears in your life right now. Be honest—there’s no “right” or “wrong” score. - Draw a Chart
Create a simple bar graph with each of the five states labeled along the bottom. The height of each bar represents the score you gave it. This visual snapshot is your egogram. - Observe Patterns
Look at which bars are highest and which are lowest. Ask yourself, “Are my Critical Parent or Adapted Child states dominating?” “Do I let my Free Child come out and play often enough?” This awareness is a big step toward making positive changes. - Adjust and Integrate
Over time, you can intentionally nurture underused states (like encouraging your Free Child for creativity) or gently tone down overused ones (like a harsh Critical Parent). Consistency and self-compassion are key!
Moving Toward Wholeness
Trauma can fragment our sense of self, leaving us feeling disconnected or overwhelmed by certain ego states. By creating and revisiting your egogram, you start to see how different parts of you work together—and sometimes clash. This insight is crucial for healing: it enables you to nurture healthier dynamics between your inner voices and reclaim a more cohesive, authentic identity.
Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. As you explore your egogram, don’t hesitate to reach out for professional support if overwhelming feelings surface. Together, we can untangle the threads of your past and guide you toward a future where all parts of you find harmony and peace.
